May 1, 2009


This classic dive bar has been on Bluebonnet Circle in the Texas Christian University area of Fort Worth for almost forever. It's a beer joint straight out of Charles Bukowski's BARFLY movie.

Coincidentally enough, me and my dad, who had his own 2-man carpet installing business (think Sanford & Son) back in the mid-'80s, put in new carpeting there once because my dad was a friend of the owner of the place. In fact, we installed carpet at all of this guy's bars around town.

Let me tell you what, ladies and bastards, that was maybe the nastiest job we ever had and we had some doozies over the years, like the time we installed carpet in a living room in a house in the Como area and when we went to pull up the old shit there wasn't just one layer of carpeting on the floor there were three, one on top of the other.

By God, and I know this since I'd seen it myself, people are fucking crazy, man.

The bar itself @ the Oui Lounge was carpeted on the lower half down of the bar itself down to the floor. I had the job of pulling up said carpet. I soon enough found out that it was soaked, and I mean a gusher from Yellowstone Park soaked, with piss and beer and more piss and whiskey and scotch and more piss and gin and tequila and vodka and more piss. Meaning, the drunk ass loser motherfuckers who got inebriated way beyond any reason whatsoever sat there at bar and pissed their damn pants like they were imitating Niagara Falls, fer chrissakes.

And there I am pulling up all that human scumbag soaked carpet. Yes, I donned gloves. I ain't a genius but I ain't stupid either. Talk about some nasty ass shit. Human beings are decadent, ignorant, slow-witted and downright FUCKED UP if they can't make their way to the bathroom in that place to empty their bladders instead of sitting on a bar stool and peeing their britches like they were six-year-olds swimming in a YMCA pool.

Afterwards, once I had all the nasty shit ripped up and thrown into the Dumpster out back of the place, I also threw those gloves away too knowing they were permanently toxic and hazard to my health.

Fucking hell, man, and I'm not kidding you. Once I got home after that filthy job I had to take one of those nuclear reactor-like sponge bath disinfectant scrub down showers, motherfucker.

Like Bukowski wrote, "Humanity. You never had it from the beginning."

No comments: